GREG GUTFELD: Children are “cannon fodder” in the culture war

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Happy Tuesday everyone. I love you. Don’t put your shirt on, lady. Today’s monologue for children. And not only Alec Baldwin. I mean, all of America’s children are being destroyed by people who claim to care about them. I call it.


NARRATOR: Everyone is running. This is an attack on brats! Why are Democrats so angry?

You know, sometimes I think he takes my guidance too literally. I said, “You see, this is about attacking children.” And he says, “Attack on brats.” It’s like a 1950s horror movie about a sausage. Tonight I dedicate my monologue to the next generation because someone has to take care of them. Democrats certainly don’t. The facts are that we are in a culture war and children are caught in the crossfire. Literally, if they’re in Chicago, Baltimore, or Columbia If the mayor has a “D” after their name, it spells “duck.”

After COVID, a new pandemic. It’s children killing children. According to the Wall Street Journal, child abuse has increased dramatically since 2020. This stain on this country is spreading faster than a stain on Joe Biden’s pants. The number of homicides committed by minors alone increased by 30% in 2020 compared to the year before, and the number of homicides by multiple children increased by 66%. And the number of murders committed by children under the age of 14 is the highest in the last 20 years. Hmm. I guess Fox News anchor Adam Klotz should consider himself lucky to have just had his ass kicked. However, a group of teenagers. I mean, anyway.

Now prosecutors and community groups are pointing to the blockade. Of course, by depriving children of interaction with others, forcing them to stay locked up at home, their mental health will undoubtedly take a hit. The children had to live like prisoners, only prisoners don’t melt their brains on social media. They are too busy fielding letters from Kat’s fans. She keeps them. And when kids aren’t killing each other with guns, they’re dying from drugs. It’s optimistic, I tell you.


Deaths from fentanyl among children are rising faster than the average parent’s blood pressure. In fact, the number of fentanyl-related deaths among children under 14 has more than tripled in just two years. Of course we know where fentanyl comes from. China. As another poison, TikTok. This relentless faucet of brainwashing flows into every child’s room. Imagine a self-destruct device placed in every American home. A device that forces you to choke to death, swallow inedible objects, embrace ideas that distance you from your family. This is TikTok. It is not surprising that children turn to prescription and illegal drugs. They also get fat on a diet of corn syrup and sugar. And of course they choose porn over real life.

So you have diet, drugs, education, isolation, antisocial behavior. What will these children be like in ten years? Let’s hope not. Meanwhile, there is Antifa. They look good, right? They are not quite children anymore, but young losers with hatred in their eyes. Look at the recent arrests in Atlanta, antifa, mostly peaceful protests. All smug, dirty-haired, rich, white liberal kids who clearly don’t spend their funds on hygiene products. Be glad their mugshots aren’t scratched or sniffed. Think Sam Bankman with a chip on his shoulder bigger than his ****.

So what happened to them? And again, where are the adults? Well, Bill Maher is one grown up. He looks at what is happening to the children and is also worried. Listen to him.


BILL MAHER: We live in a prison yard in this country where everything is tribal. And like anything to do with schools or education, that’s really what the Democrats should be in charge of, because they control it. I mean, if you look at the Democratic convention, three-quarters of them are teachers. My sister is a teacher. I am a huge advocate for teachers. But what is happening in schools is outrageous, and someone needs to be held accountable.


Now Maher, who like me doesn’t have his brats, is also saying that teachers are screwing kids. And not as much fun as in the gym teacher’s van. Yes, those were the days. He understands that eliminating rationality, science, and truth is not progress unless your ultimate goal is to screw society up beyond repair. In Bucks County, Pennsylvania, you have events like the Queer Prom that the Democratic senator boasts about. There were drag queens with lube and condoms. Children as young as 13 were given dental dams and I still don’t know what they are. And I don’t want to know. When I was that age, I’d be lucky to get Wintergreen gum. You could do a lot with it.

Bring it up, though, and you know what you’re going to get? You get a smirk, a rejection, what I call the “straw trance argument.” It’s like a straw man argument, but with boobs and a bulge. If you support science, biology, and fundamental truths about life that have been agreed upon for millennia, you now hate trans people, when in fact it has nothing to do with trans adults. This is about protecting children from the violent left who use children as cannon fodder in the culture war. And so the children were drafted through the quarantine, the gender war, the hyperbole about the climate, the violins against the country blaring from the classrooms. For the left, it’s all about power, and seizing that power starts with children. This is the mental version of pedophilia. But here they spoil the mind.

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